Are you “carrying” or “holding” things?

Do you know the subtle yet crucial difference between carrying a weight on your shoulders vs. holding a space of presence?

We live in overwhelming times

Let’s face it, life is not always a fairy tale. We are all constantly dealing with a variety of things on a daily basis - from small household troubles to relational hurdles, from health struggles to financial worries, from mundane difficulties to broader community or world problems - that don’t necessarily affect us physically but do have an impact on us emotionally and mentally.

My point is: there’s usually a lot to carry if you are alive in 2026 on planet Earth.

It’s undeniable that we have to develop some capacity and ability to deal with the challenges of our time.

Even if you lived completely off-grid, cut off from the system, you would still be immersed in this collective field and you would still, by human nature, face challenges of some type.

Challenges can take many shapes

Some challenges are harder of course. I have recently learnt that my dad needs to undergo surgery and my grandma is rapidly heading towards the finish line of her incarnation. So I am well aware that the coming weeks and months will be demanding for me.

And I have two choices: I can take on the load, however heavy it might be, and succumb under it or I can embrace the situation from a healthy inner distance.

The fear of succumbing

Interestingly, these days I’ ve been told from various people that I was sharing my situation with, to take good care of myself and to have strong boundaries: “You don't need to save anyone. It's not your task to take on someone else’s pain, not even your family’s”.

While it is true that we need to take care of ourselves first, such an approach in my eyes appears to stem from fear of succumbing under foreign “poop” and is rooted in the assumption that we can not hold it all.

Behind that genuine advice is a deep sense of mistrust in our own divine capacity to accept, embrace and transmute whatever we are faced with.

The only reason why someone would insist on putting up strong boundaries, keep distance at all costs, get involved as little as possible in a potentially stressful situation, is because they don’t trust themselves enough to handle it smoothly.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the problem is not the challenging situation having a negative impact on you and the point is not you having to protect yourself at all costs from it.

The problem (if there is any) is your fear of succumbing under it and your inability to face it from your place of power, from your center.

Carrying a weight is not the only solution

Those conversations made me realise that there's a subtle yet important difference between carrying a weight and holding a space.

When we carry something (whether it's ours or someone else's stuff isn’t the point here), we experience it as a burden, as a leakage in our energy field. It drains us.

But when we hold space we are fully present with whatever or whoever, deeply anchored in the knowing that we are bigger than it: we're bigger than the surgery, bigger than the pain, even bigger than death!

The art of holding space

Holding space is a human skill. One we have unlearned unfortunately.

It is about gifting our full and centered presence to something or someone.

It is not about fixing, advising, physically helping, talking someone out of their feelings, convincing, suggesting solutions.

Most importanly, it’s NOT about saving anyone.

It’s about lovingly witnessing someone in their process.

As a consequence of our presence, their process might be eased and relieved, yes.

But please try not to save anyone or take away their pain. That wouldn’t be healthy for you nor them.

The heart can hold it all

It is natural to be afraid of pain and wanting to fix painful sitations. It is scary for our small little human selves.

It is therefore crucial that you rise to the level of your soul when you hold space.

You can also imagine it as dropping into your heart.

Either way, you are anchoring yourself into something bigger and wiser, you are tapping into an infinite source of energy, strength and courage that fuel you in magical ways.

What your little human self cannot handle and will be overwhelmed by, your Higher Self can easily navigate. But you have to let that part of you come through and lead.

Your heart is a portal connected to the infinite heart of the Universe, it can hold it all: the joy and the pain, the beauty and the despair of the whole world.

You don’t need to hold the whole world 24/7 of course, but you can surely trust your ability to hold whatever comes your way during your lifetime. You are built for it.

Learning to hold space

Switching from carrying a burden to holding a space is something I had to learn and am still practicing. Sometimes, unhealthy patterns and conditioning from my past still interfere with my ability to hold space and so I fall back into wanting to save people and stealing away their pain.

⮞The trick to know where you stand is to ask your body:

“Am I feeling drained by being here or am I centered and at ease while offering my presence to others”?

Your body knows. You can feel energy leakages clearly in your energy field if you pay attention to it.

Holding space is supposed to leave you feeling neutral and balanced in and with yourself.

So in a way it should be no effort.

In my experience there’s no effort at all in being there for someone when I am strongly grounded, centered and connected with my spirit guide team.

I might find an effort, however, in creating these prerequisites and I am not always as “tapped in” as I could be - I’m sure you can relate. So it still requires practice to build this energetic capacity.

Build your energetic resilience

My advice to you is: rather than avoiding challenging situations to not get drained in the first place, practice building a solid relationship with youself and owning your energy field.

As you do so, be patient with yourself and remember: there’s no right or wrong way of holding space. One day it might be within your capacity to hold space for an emotional crisis of someone, another day you might just be able to have a 20 min silent walk by their side. Honor and respect your boundaries and needs.

Start small: hold space for your own emotions first!

Learning to hold space for yourself - sometimes referred to as “self-parenting” - is an important skill to acquire and master.

In short, you want to be fully present with yourself, by creating even the smallest distance between you and your problem/emotion. As a distanced observer, you can now hold yourself in love and compassion, without drowning in your own drama.

Cultivate a deep and honest inner dialog

To sum up, there’s a fine line between carrying a weight and holding a space even though, on the outside, the might often look the same.

This fine line is subjective and you can only learn to discern it by tuning to the sensations and messages of your physical body and your energy field.

Non-negotiable self-care

You need to develop a strong self-care routine and know in detail what you need to have your whole system balanced and thriving - because you can only hold space when you are fully vital.

By tuning inward regularly and getting to know yourself in depth you can build this solid relationship with yourself, that is the only thing you truly need in this lifetime anyway.

⮞ If you want to practice this in a guided field, alongside like-minded souls, join my “ New Moon Temple” community, opening in January 2026!

We will use the deeply introspective energy of the new moons to reconnect with our intuitive wisdom on a monthly basis and, among other things, to build a strong resilient field.

Reflection question:

Next time you find yourself dealing with a challenge pause and ask yourself: am I carrying a burden or gracefully holding space?

Let me know your thoughts in a message!

with Love,

Luna